I get a headache when I think people are looking at me, even when they’re not.
There’s something about society and communities that connect us in a nontangible, theoretical sense.
It feels like a bunch of wires linking our consciousness and self awareness to that of another, if you could visualize that.
Links are created and destroyed between us from every little interaction. You put your blinker on to get around the person in front of you. You give a friendly smile as you pass a stranger on the sidewalk and they instinctively make that eye contact and smile back, or defer and are given a moments bit of anxiety or reclusion.
Our choices and decisions stretch farther than we can ever fathom. The goddamn butterfly effect. Maybe my asshole boss wanted to save a few thousand bucks so he fires some people to outsource. That outsourced party might have a little party and eventually make their first million using my bosses business as a client. On the other end, the people fired might struggle trying to find their next position, and with this crumbling economy, are quickly drained of all their savings and maybe some assets. Maybe all, maybe they’re homeless, or committed suicide, or just sit around thinking about how to pop the tires of that douchebag boss.
This is all metaphorical, obviously.
I get a headache when I think people are looking at me.
I feel like I’m being gauged by everyone I associate with. In public, I couldn’t give a shit, but damn I get anxious in the professional world, trying to make myself appear to be, well, not myself. I need to really focus on keeping my mouth shut about my personal life at work. There is a division for a reason. This is why I panicked and quit my dream job.
I get a headache when I think.