Suicide is an incredibly sensitive word. It’s strange how we talk about it in our lives, one one hand we make jokes about it and even show it in our children-directed cartoons. It’s prominent in meme culture, and many idioms and metaphors touch on the subject. I’m not starting a snowflake revolution here but just stating what’s obviously out there at this time.
On the other hand, suicide becomes a deadly word to mention when it involves family, friend, or just someone you have to associate with each day.
When we say someone is suicidal, we tend to mean it in the sense that they are about to commit suicide, unless we are using it as a turn of phrase for people who do dangerous things.
When it comes to mental health – suicidal means they need to be institutionalized.
So, we say people who are depressed are more likely to try to commit suicide than people who are not.
After all, why would someone crave death?
If someone has a problem that cannot be solved with a pill or infusion of some sort, we instantly direct them to therapy. But sometimes people can’t go to therapists, or they can’t afford them, or they can’t tell the people they need to to get help.
Sometimes the people who do make it into therapy still can’t talk about their problem openly. Some people just flat out want to die and there’s no explanation to it, we just call it severe depression when we can’t keep them locked up sampling drugs and sitting in support groups all day.
I don’t mean to direct any hard feelings towards institutions for mental health, I went to one myself and found it to be the most uplifting experience of my entire life. It set me on a path to better myself and it’s a massive factor in why I am alive today.
Unfortunately we can’t spend our days recovering – and have to get back out in the real world, and sometimes we can’t even take a day off to get the help we need – or even an hour once a month for a visit to someone with a specialized degree.
We have to be ok on our own, and that’s where the concept of self help comes in. It’s merely finding enjoyment in your day to day activities – however that may be. It can be as simple as writing in a journal or as extreme as switching careers or converting religions.
Self help is just thinking for yourself, but that concept is scary to some. It interferes with existing beliefs when you dig too deep.
Many people today will say that many problems can be solved through religion, and those people are entirely correct. But, it’s not for everyone, and you can’t force people to believe in something, and if you did – that’s pure manipulation on your part.
Exposure is different. Some families like to push their generational traditions and day to day activities on their own children, and enjoy being part of a family line of these traditions, whatever they may be.
Everyone is different – you can’t expect everyone to like and dislike the same things that you do, as their chemical structure is different and their life experiences are different. You only know as much as you were there for, for any given experience.
Because of this there will always be outliers in an individual community, assuming we categorize ideas like family, friends, coworkers, public, ect. separately. These outliers defy the things the community values, and sometimes is exiled from them if they don’t bend. Sometimes these outliers have nowhere else to go and the community “tolerates” them until they find that place.
In this time, that outlier is dealing with shit you can’t understand. They feel out of place in a world that never seems to treat them fairly, and feel so overburdened by existence that they don’t know what to do and there’s no one around them to help.
Some people can’t go to their parents about a problem, or a significant other, or a friend, or even a therapist. Especially a therapist. You’re supposed to be able to talk to them about anything.
Everything except hurting yourself or someone around you. They are legally required to report that and once you say something, you can’t take it back. It’s the ultimate wall – saying those words takes away the control you have over the situation.
Self harm is a huge problem in today’s day. It’s almost guaranteed that you know someone who cuts themselves, even if they don’t share it publicly. I don’t even bother looking for statistics for this subject because people can’t be honest about their responses, even if they claim to be anonymous.
A person hurting themselves is more than cutting. It’s abusing yourself in general. Self harm can be done through vices, or even hanging out with toxic people in general. It’s anything that harms you physically and emotionally.
You know you shouldn’t be spending your savings at a bar or gambling, and you know you shouldn’t be manipulative to people in general. Be good to yourself and the people you connect with, it’s a simple as that.
And I’m not excusing you for being an asshole to the gas station clerk or a client via email. You think you aren’t racist because you are against racism but shut the fuck up if you haven’t lived through the direct oppressions. Same goes for religion, sex, age, whatever. Be human. We as individuals know absolutely nothing about the world, and you need to have that constant awareness to save your soul if you have one. I know religion has loopholes in sacred texts though, or things that are left up to interpretation, so feel free to be a cunt if you think you’ll be fine when a train hits you in ten minutes.
Irritability aside, my point is that happiness has to come from within, and when you’re doing only good things eventually something good will happen. If you do bad things it’s will almost inevitably bite you in the ass. You can escape punishment in life with lies but you can’t escape your own self hatred.
Redemption. Many religions have a way to atone for your sins, so if you do screw up hope is not all lost. For non-religious people, this becomes more difficult. Each person must decide for themselves how atonement works. Did I do enough? Am I doing too much? Why bother?
Here’s where the religious fanatics say a person needs a higher power to survive. How could someone ever be held accountable for their own actions if something superior is influencing the world, and what’s the point of doing good things if there’s no price to pay at the end?
It’s called morals, and everyone has them. What do you believe in and how far will you go to ensure you stuck to that belief?
Society can be as religious as it needs to be but it’s irrelevant to correlate it to morality when you include all the atheists and agnostics in the spreadsheets.
Each person is responsible for their own actions, and at the end of the day – you need to sleep. Can you?
This isn’t about me. This isn’t about you. This isn’t about everyone else. It’s about existence and meaning of life and purpose and reality.
The answer to life lies in sharing it – so build connections that make you and the other person happy. If you think someone is struggling, please find them delicate help. The current means for dealing with suicidal people is incredibly harsh and often times does more damage then good. Suicide watch made me incredibly paranoid and isolated. I thought that if I said the slightest thing wrong, I’d be locked away for an undetermined amount of time. I still worry about police knocking on my front door when someone makes an anonymous call when I share my feelings, or the emails I get directly from social media platforms expressing their concern enticed fear in me.
I could have avoided so much if I knew how to share my feelings.
I could have avoided so much if someone had asked me the right questions.
Stop avoiding a subject because it’s sensitive. if you see someone in pain, telling them to go to a doctor or therapist is only going to go so far. It takes more than medicine and some venting to tackle a problem, it takes love from family and friends.
If you’re hurting, look for that love. It’s out there in the people closest to you.