I guess I need to just go back to making video games or something. My dreams aren’t for people to hear about. I battle with being realistic and fulfilling my goals and can’t seem to find the balance. not without faking it.
I feel the need to change everything that I can so I can live a perfect life, but I need to know that the things I do change the lives of others, and I can’t always know how that happens. To really do what I want to do I need to be isolated, but being isolated stops personal progression.
I’m stuck in a windowless room trying to get out, and these false hopes of becoming some sort of super human mentally has me more disconnected than ever.
I just want to be me. I want to do the things that I want to do. Unfortunately the world is moving a lot slower than I am and I have to slow down or bad things happen. I have to be honest with myself and the people in my life. I gotta slow down so I do the right thing. I gotta do stuff that entertains me on a day to day basis.
I have many friends in film and writing, a few already seem down for summer projects, and I have movie ideas. Quite a few of them. Here’s to hoping for a good summer of fun and learning experiences.
I can always publish something tomorrow… Unless I’m dead.
No more rabbit holes today, please.